I can't sleep...

I HATE this. It is 1:20 in the morning and here I am thinking about how great it would be to be asleep in my bed. I am at my parents house and because of the rain and lateness have decided to stay for the night. But no sleep for this girl. Maybe I am not really trying but am getting sucked into the vices of the internets. Whatever this scheduling thing is ridiculous. Being up this long and late cause me to question life and become introspective usually a very bad idea. I usually just end up in a place of fear and something else that isn't helpful. I do like working nightshifts most of the time but on nights like this I remember very clearly this downside. Jesus please put me to sleep. How am I to function with so little?

My brain is so screwy. There are so many things I need to do. When I have time I try to rest which doesn't help all the things I need to do. Somehow I still don't feel rested. I have climbed onto a hamster wheel and cannot get off. Could someone push me please? In You've Got Mail she talks to the void. That is what I want to do. Except Jesus, I know you are there. How do I focus on talking to you when I can't even focus on anything? My brain is an eternal bouncy ball. Rarely do I drop down in the same place. I used to have really good control, what happened. Did something I do initiate the loss of that control?

As most of these posts go. I need help. And I have no idea what. Do it Jesus. I can't.

The head heads back to the pillow.